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Letter From The Editor

Dear Friends,

A recently released CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey suggests that nearly three out of four Americans are “scared about the way things are going in the country today”. American’s are worried, and I think by now we thought some miraculous change would have occurred in the chaos our economy has found itself in, but instead we are faced with the same ole same ole. So we address our worry about the same ole same ole, the same ole same ole way… we worry!

Yet, worrying does nothing to solve our problems or make us feel better. So, what if we choose to address the “same ole same ole” with a smile instead of worry? Heck, we could even choose to have fun living our lives inside of the inevitable “same ole same ole”!

How can we have fun when there is so much to worry and fret about? You make the choice to have more fun. You make a mental choice to give up worry!

For instance, when I am going into a situation where I know people are going to be stressed, or that I could get stressed, I consciously make the choice to put on a certain persona… for example: Whenever I travel I put on what I call, The Airport Persona! I smile at everyone; make an absolute game out of what it will take to get the person next to me to laugh; make a conscious choice to remain calm, no matter what circumstance comes around, and then I sit back and watch everyone else freak out. And let me tell you, when you have yourself in a chilled out way of thinking, you can really see how silly we look when we are worried and frantic about things we have no control over… like blizzards causing flight delays and mechanical difficulties!

This way of being, is a game I play with myself, and it is something each and every one of us can create for every “same ole same ole” circumstance we are faced with.

How about we create the:

Going to Work Positively Persona – Go to work happy and grateful for what you have! Going to work worried and downtrodden about the possibility of being laid off only serves to affect your productivity and the greater likelihood of your job being one that is cut!

Daughter is going on a Date Persona – You’ve got to allow your children to spread their wings. Worrying and fretting, or forbidding them to date until they are 25 years old, won’t do you any good, and certainly letting them see how worried you are won’t do any good either!

Making a Difference Persona – Choosing to take on a way of being that makes a difference instead of being down with the rest of the world, will not only serve to raise the happiness and fun meter of those around you, but it will raise yours as well!

Driving in Bumper-to-Bumper Traffic Persona – Smile when you get cut off in traffic, and when you are stuck in an endless sea of cars on the freeway, wave at the children in the car next to you. Sing to your favorite songs, loudly, and even roll down the windows. You’ll smile brighter and the people next to you will too!

In our world of real problems, this Persona Game may seem trivial to some. Yet, what has worrying about things we have no control over ever done for us?

The difference between feeling calm in the midst of chaos and fretting and worrying ourselves, nearly to death, is in who we choose to be with chaos all around us.

We can choose to be a smile, when no one else is smiling. We can choose to be a hug when we need a hug, instead of waiting for one to be offered to us. We can choose to be outrageous and happy, even when the “same ole same ole” has us feeling down. We can choose to be a pillar of positive energy, instead of crumbling when others around us are crumbling. Like absolutely everything we do in life, we have the CHOICE to be and react to life positively or negatively, and when we choose to be positive we blaze the path for others to do the same! How cool is that?

You set the tone for your employees, co-workers, family, customers, and the stranger standing beside you, and they set the tone for those they come in contact with. So do you see how by lighting up just one person, you set the stage for thousands of others to shine brighter… to be happier? Now consider how hundreds of thousands of newly smiling, happy people could transform this world! It can happen, and I’m willing to play. How about you?

Warm Regards,

Clay S. Nelson

Forgiving on Your Feet

[Forgiveness is] a deliberate act on our part. Revenge evens the score; forgiveness wins the game." —Family Walk

One of the secrets of effective leadership is the ability to forgive on your feet—forgive someone in the moment when that person does or says something that offends or hurts you; forgive when someone fails to be their word or messes up on the job. Forgiving on your feet means not wasting precious time or energy being resentful or resisting the urge to not trust and do it all yourself, again. And it seems in our current economic and business environment, there is a lot of forgiving that needs to be done!

Forgiveness is about regaining your power. That’s right! As long as you are resentful, the person or circumstance that you are resentful of has power over you. When you forgive, you reestablish control over your life and reclaim your personal power. You give up the stress that carrying resentment or hurt creates, and you give yourself an immediate benefit of stress relief.

Leadership is a choice not to let your important life decisions be run by your feelings. Forgiveness is a choice we can make, even in the face of our feelings, including our fears. Forgiveness means we are willing to be vulnerable again… to take the risk. Forgiveness means choosing to give up being a victim and give up being right.

Forgiving on your feet takes practice. It may seem difficult at first, but the way to improve your ability to forgive is to practice, practice, and practice some more! You’ve probably noticed that life gives you several opportunities every day to forgive on your feet—the banker cutting off your line of credit, being cut off on the freeway, the restaurant server taking too long to bring your check to the table, your son spilling a gallon of juice on the carpet, a member of your executive team loosing a major account… you get the idea! So every time you recognize a new hurt or anger, practice choosing in that moment to let go of it quickly. You simply have to practice choosing a forgiving attitude.

Leaders forgive quickly. Leaders know that giving over their energy to resentment or a grudge robs them of their ability to lead effectively. They have to forgive and move on in order to stay the course and get what they say they want, by-when they say they want it.

Leaders know forgiveness is 100% their responsibility. The power of forgiveness lies in the fact that it has NOTHING to do with the other person. Forgiveness is for, and all about, YOU! It's about you giving up hurt and your judgments about others. It's a precious gift you give to yourself, your self-esteem, and to your relationships with everyone. Forgiveness is 100% your responsibility because you are 100% in control of your behavior and choices.

So, how about choosing to be a forgive-on-your-feet leader right now?

Bolstering Your Team

As a leader, one of your challenges is to support your team members to be their best—all the time—especially now, when the current psyche of many people have them feeling down, uninspired, and just plain afraid! Even when employees know it is imperative to stay motivated, sharp, and on track, they still aren’t immune to the negativity so prevalent in the world!

Here are some team pitfalls to watch out for and some tips on how to move the team members past them:

• The “good enough” syndrome
  The “good enough” syndrome is when your team has experienced some success—a few wins—and they begin to assume the course and pay less attention to detail. They may even see it as an opportunity to sit back and coast for a bit, but the truth is that you need for them to keep the momentum rolling, and do anything but coast!

  What’s important, first, is to thoroughly acknowledge your team for its accomplishments. Make sure they really get your communication about the fantastic job they have done so far. Next, help your team refocus on the company’s goals, review the business plan, and reemphasize the challenges you are still faced with. Ask each team member to state what it means to them to be a part of the team that helps the company reach its goals. Then ask them to recommit!

• The “blame game”
  When your team has been missing its goals, sometimes it slows down its production or the quality of its work even more because it is busy blaming someone outside the company or circumstances for how the company is doing.

  The antidote for this team behavior is a review of what it means to be accountable. At some moment in the past, team members agreed to allow you to hold them accountable. Now is the time to do that. Make sure they understand the impact on the company when the team ignores its accountability. Ask them to recommit to be accountable in the future. Say something that completes the issue and reestablishes the relationship with each member.

• “When one member is in breakdown, the whole team breaks down”
  Sometimes, when one team member is experiencing personal or other problems, that member’s performance breaks down. Often, the remaining team members use that circumstance as an excuse for them to stop functioning, as well.

  Team members need to be reminded about their power—their power to produce results, even if one of their members is not contributing. And, they should be reminded about their power of choice—that they can choose to give as much effort as they decide to give.

Bottom Line:

Spend some time thinking about your team and how it functions. It isn’t wise to assume that your team will function at its best all the time, as if it is on automatic pilot. Be proactive and sensitive to what’s happening with your team. Part of being a leader is being a good coach or mentor for your own team. Why not check in with your team today?

 

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