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Letter From The Editor

Dear Friends,

Think about the simplicity of the very first Thanksgiving… there were no fancy place settings or centerpieces, and the turkey may have even been dry! Regardless, they still came together in the spirit of friendship, love, and thankfulness, and out of that spirit they created a holiday that we still celebrate. So, if the quickly approaching holiday has you already stressing, take some deep breaths, and get present to who you are being!

• Take time to stop and smell the roses. How often do you take even a moment to enjoy not only what you have, but the people you have to enjoy it with? Yes, many people have faced very trying circumstances this past year, but if you have breath… you have something to be thankful for!
• Get present to what you HAVE accomplished. On Thanksgiving Eve take a half-hour and make a list of all the things you have accomplished this year, including all of your personal and business accomplishments. I guarantee the list will be much longer than you anticipate. You see, we all accomplish great things, we simply forget about them as we beat ourselves up over what we didn’t accomplish. Get your family involved too! Children are phenomenal thinkers when it comes to looking toward the positive, and you might even learn a thing or two!
• Get present to your power as a leader. Be an example to those around you of the great things that can be created in the spirit of friendship, love, and thankfulness, rather than operating from stress, drudgery, and greed.
• Get present to the power you put into where you are going. Negativity drains our mental and physical resources, and if you are constantly draining your batteries with negativity, how do you expect the next day to be positive and uplifting, let alone the next year!

Getting the most out of this holiday season and taking on the spirit in which Thanksgiving was created, or not, is a choice. We can choose to live from the spirit of friendship, love, and thankfulness or we can choose negativity, worry, and stress. I choose friendship, love, and thankfulness. What do you choose?

Warm Regards,

Clay S. Nelson

Appreciating Family

Often the stress that tends to accompany the holiday season has more to do with family togetherness than anything else, but why? The holiday season is as much about celebrating family and friendship as it is anything else. So, how do you survive holiday family togetherness?

#1: Get grounded in what it is you love about your family and the time you spend together. Yes, even those we love most can get on our last nerve, which means we have to get present to what it is we love about our family and embrace them for who they are, not for what we wish they would be.

• Do you laugh about the time grandma burnt the fruit cake and the fire trucks pulled up in front of her house?
• How about Uncle Joe getting away with his off-color jokes, like only Uncle Joe can!
• Listening to your cousins rib each other over their favorite sports teams!
• Or how about watching your parents bonding with your children?

You have to look for the gold and the fun in everything. You may have to dig, but it’s there!!

#2: If you are going to get together with family and you expect that it will be miserable, it will be miserable. However, if you go with positive expectations, you create the space for fun to happen.

#3: Communicate fully and completely… which includes listening. You never know what you may learn!

#4: Let go of your ego. Are you still holding a 10-year old grudge? Have you been judgmental of someone else and need to let it go? If you want to be accepted no matter what, then you have to be the same for others!

#5: Keep it simple! Spending time with our families is not about whose child is dressed the best or the most well behaved… Spending time with our families is not about who has the loudest pipes on their Harley… Spending time with our families is not about who makes the best chocolate cake! Let go of the feeling that everything must be perfect, so when it isn’t you won’t be disappointed!

Family; we can’t live with them and we can’t live without ‘em! It is one of those things we wrestle with when it comes to balancing who we are and what we need versus what the family needs.

And in truth, we all need a sense of “family.” Family bonds go a long way in providing us with a sense of well-being and belonging!! So, in this season of frantic “family” togetherness, remember this quote from George Moore:

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.

The Key to Great Communication

Any time you have two or more human beings within a work environment or family, communication is likely to be an issue. And frequently, communication missteps within families are at the heart of many people’s holiday stress. So, with the holiday’s rounding the corner, it is time to brush up on our communication skills!

The key to working through any communication issue is simple. Become proficient in the art of full and complete communication! Full and complete communication isn’t difficult to put into place; it is simply an acknowledgement by anyone involved in a communication that they are ultimately responsible for what the person they are communicating with is left understanding.

When we communicate understanding that we are responsible for what those we are communicating with walks away “owning”, then we can take steps to confirm that what we have communicated is understood! And it is simple to do!

The speaker in any communication simply has to check in with the person/people they are speaking with to make sure that what was said is what they understood.

• You do that by asking them, in a humble, first person way, what they got out of the communication.
• Say: “I’ve had experiences where someone told me to do something [to have something ready, to be somewhere at a specific time, etc.] and what I thought I heard wasn’t what was said. What I prepared was completely wrong, and I don’t want that to happen to you. So, please give me back what I said so that I know you understand what I am asking for.”

We are all human, and frequently we misunderstand what has been said to us. So why not communicate in such a way that acknowledges our humanity? This “system” works for husbands/wives, parents/kids, bosses/employees. It works any place that two human beings are communicating!

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